Tuesday, 7 November 2017
Colts B v Hymers College (H) Lost
Colts B v Hymers College (The absent apostrophe is accurate.) (H) Lost 10..ish – 5
Preparing to referee is something of a ritual: avoid second helpings of apple crumble; photocopy the team list; remove the bunch of keys with the whistle on from the coat pocket (which pocket is always a small side issue, which coat another); find a pencil to record the score on the team sheet; check the entire team is in school; find some water bottles; fill them; squeeze into kit; select a pair of socks that is neither crunchy nor soggy; take the field looking the part; encourage the boys to warm up (without exposing oneself to the risks associated with that kind of exertion); quick chinwag with the opposing coach and all is ready for the action to begin.
As usual, the above had been smoothly accomplished on the afternoon of the Hymer College match. The trouble was that, when life is generally conducted along smooth and predictable lines like these, the disruption caused to the performance of such a perfectly balanced operation by a single element failing, proved utterly discombobulating: the pencil so carefully selected for its perfect not-too-sharp-not-to-blunt point leapt out of its pocket. Eagle-eyed spectators may have spotted that my half-time oratory was briefer than normal, allowing me time to quickly scan the field for the missing item…but to no avail.
This is rather a long way round saying that I am not entirely sure about the factual content of this report. We were well beaten by a team who had more technical awareness, more skill and more muscle than us. Despite this, several of our players distinguished themselves. Michael and Archie scored five spectacular tries between them, Sam played his heart out and there was a memorable try-saving tackle made by Will.
The players were rewarded with hot chocolate, muffins and a watertight excuse for tardiness to lesson 7.